Excerpt from Upcoming Noir Mystery Thriller: A Sinful Lady Innocent

This story, like most stories, begins with a dame. Don’t take offense ladies; dame, noun, reserved for a woman of such great stature, honor, power and grace as to be the equivalent of a knight. From the Latin or Old French domina, meaning mistress. Which, subsequently is also a noun, meaning a woman in a position of authority or control, such as being the mistress of one’s situation no matter how mired with entropy. Other meanings, a female who has taken the position of head of her household, or a woman who is extremely skilled in a particular subject or activity. From the Old French maistresse, meaning master.

So yes, both in terms of gender and the very nature of the word, this story begins with a dame. Unfortunately, said dame happened to be laying on the floor in a more wretched state of affairs. The predominant question at the time, next to who and why, was whether or not she suffered.

“Looks like we’ve got a real psychopat on our ands, eh Byron? Serial killer I bet.” Jayson Pierce half asked me and half told, dropping the H like he often did, his voice thick with a combination Welsh and Jamaican accent. The chief of police with seven years tenure in the position, there weren’t many that would argue his manner of speech. That was, in the ego and sensibilities of most higher ups, a surefire way to ensure you would not be climbing the corporate ladder any time soon.

“…I’m not so sure Jaice; right now you’re only reconnoitering the most obvious traits of the victim’s field.” I posited, slipping easily yet with practiced control out of my long coat. I held the sage green blended, double breasted turn down collar affair out to my assistant, bodyguard and constant compatriot who took it wordlessly. No eye contact was necessary; I was already focused deep on the woman in plum laid so carefully out on the floor. Shi’Sanna Bronsen took my coat, and carefully folded it over one bare, well toned arm before returning to her candy.

“Ow ya figer, Byron?” Jayson inquired, reaching up to remove his derby cap and then thinking better of it. Good man; no sense contaminating the crime scene with loose strands of hair, though his raven would’ve certainly stood out against her blonde.

“This is too intimate for a serial killer.” I reasoned, slipping on a pair of sterile white gloves.

“Ow so? See’s got er digits acked off, asn’t see?” Jayson grumbled, never one to enjoy being told he’s wrong.

“Good way to make sure there’s no DNA to be found under her fingernails, certainly. Still, too much else is off.”

“Suc’ as?”

“…”

I took a deep breath. She smelled too pretty to be a corpse.

“For one, there’s the perfume. For another, the outfit. The color coding is ludicrously careful, and the care of the arrangement… Look at her heels, the shoes not literal. She’s worn them often enough, and had them restored more than once. Her hair is immaculate, her makeup perfectly sculpted.

“Intimate. Someone knew her and knew her well. Someone wanted her to die in her Sunday best. Favorite clothes, and I bet if we searched her kit we’d find enough of the makeup to hazard a better than average guess that she likes this color and brand a great deal. Then, there’s the room.”

I rose, and nearly drowned in the intoxication of the rich. Sprawled out before me was a spread that would’ve paled only beside Solomon’s. To say that the victim, a one Suzanne Headly, had done well for herself would be an understatement of the magnitude as to say it is cold in Fairbanks, Alaska in the winter.

Everything was designer, none of it off the rag. A good number of pieces were likely made to order, and at least several vases and other such conversation starters had been featured in some museum or other. There were tapestries hand woven or stitched from remote villages with names too difficult to pronounce and reputations too volatile for a pretty white blonde to venture without entourage. The floor to ceiling windows lining the living room wall had a view of the city that was not just enviable, it was beyond decadent.

The colors and set pieces themselves were coordinated to such an obsessive compulsive degree that I doubted Suzanne owned a single piece of clothing that didn’t fit to great perfection. Even so, when you looked at the deceased, eerily resplendent woman on the floor it was clear this outfit matched the best.

“…This is more than just a psychopath’s playground, and deeper than an ordinary crime of passion. The evening may not have begun with murder on the mind, but the act committed was calculated for a very long time. Call it a hunch.”

“Well I, ey’! Wat are ya doin’ Bronsen?!” Jayson suddenly erupted. I turned my head just so. Shi’Sanna was crouched low, lightly touching at a spot on Suzanne’s throat.

“C’mon Jaice, you oughta know this by now. Shi’Sanna can’t get her prints on anything. Can’t leave behind what you don’t have.” I sighed with annoyance. I hated repeating myself and clarifying what ought already be clear.

“I know, but it still might muss sometin’ up!” he began our age old argument. I bit back a bitter retort as Shi’Sanna slowly looked my way.

“The foundation is sloppy. The foundation was applied, and then re-applied, and then re-applied. The marks are not even despite being meticulous. The hand was shaking. Look here; these marks are from choking. These ones are not.” Came her deep, rich voice, her Trinidadian accent somewhat mired by the years abroad.

And, with that, Shi’Sanna stared at her smudged white fingertips, odd against her rich, whipped chocolate tone, and stood. I nodded, and she took my kerchief out of her pocket to wipe them clean. Retrieving the sucker from behind her ear, she returned to staring idly out of the floor to ceiling windows at the twinkling, pulsating night below.

She likely wouldn’t say anything else for the rest of the investigation beyond “Boss”. Some people mistake Shi’Sanna for being slow; she’s just a woman of few words more often than not.

“We’ll obviously want to examine the rest of the flat, but, one thing is certain. Somewhere along the line, love became hate, and someone very intelligent performed a murder tonight nearly ritualistic in its devotion. Though, I could be wrong. Perhaps not necessarily a lover, rather someone obsessed? Too many variables right now. Either way…it looks like I have a rather interesting case on my hands, now don’t I?”

“Mmm, look at you, some kinda super detective ya?” Jayson chided, a familiar spark forming in his eyes.

“…No,” I began slowly as I turned.

“Life has simply provided me a great many years with very little to do save pay close attention to my surroundings.”

My name is Byron Carmichael, and this is the beginning of a murder that would soon be known as a Sinful Lady Innocent.

Come, let’s walk hand in hand down the annals of the hallways of necrosis and despair…

Let’s Talk About My Father

Good evening et all. Sorry to keep you waiting.

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There’s a reference in here somewhere.

Tonight I’d like to talk about my father. Yes, I’m sure you’re curious about what the studio has been up to since the announcement on Xeawn’s Gaming Corner that we’ve shifted focus from content reporting to content creation.

All in due time, I assure you.

Tonight, however, I’d like to talk about my father. Permit me to wax poetic, if you will.

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Societal Emphasis: Feel Better

I think society has something wrong about the core concept of the ideal of wanting someone to feel better.  I do, I really do. Why? Well, I’ve got quite a lot going on, and it’s given me quite a lot of time to think. To think about our society. To think about our programming. And, to think about how startlingly remarkably selfish humanity can be even while endeavoring to be exude passion, understanding and support.

I’ve got a lot going on. My dog was potentially stolen, a dear relative has been diagnosed with cancer, I’ve got various other things occurring and in the midst of it are two thoughts that I turn over and over again. I’ve got a friend, we’ll call him Scotland, who I enjoy speaking to at length quite immensely. Scotland and I get up to all manner of discussion. Sometimes it’s Scotland, Fargo, and myself sitting in my flat debating society and the ages. Now I feel left out because this story doesn’t warrant me having a codename. Let’s call me…Dullahan.

Because I like the Dullahan legend.

Continue reading

How Many Holes?

September 22, 2014

Authory Thoughts Day 1

How many holes? That’s my question for today, the one that seems to be pressing on my mind. I feel like there’s a novel in there, and wherever it is it isn’t buried very far beneath the surface.

There’s an old adage that asks about the existence of a sock. The adage, or perhaps anecdote, more or less goes as thus: You have a pair of socks. They’re your favorite socks. You love them, and so you don’t want to get rid of them no matter what. Over time, however, they get a hole. No big deal; you just patch the hole. Over time they get another, so you patch that too.

They get another, and another, and another. How much time goes by, how many holes do you patch, before they’re no longer your favorite old pair of socks anymore?

And so it is with people.

I wonder, how many holes in our lives can we patch and fill until we aren’t the same person any longer? Is that a bad thing? Does it have to be? I think that all falls down to just what you fill those holes with.

I started reading my Bible at work again today; it’d been a while since I’d done that. As I read over Matthew and thought about Mary and Joseph’s journeys, their trials and their tribulations, I thought about the depths of a mother’s love, and the measure of a man.

How many men today could be told not to worry about their suddenly pregnant fiancé, and trust that they ought to stand by her side? Not that there’s going to be another immaculate birth, but, if you were Joseph would you make the same decision? I feel awful for Mary; it must have been terrifying to be in her position. Had Joseph not heeded God’s words, she would have been publically shamed and disavowed as a harlot.

Still, she stayed the course, as did he. And, they continued on their path even knowing that their son would one day have to be abused and murdered for people who thousands of years later still spit and excrete on his sacrifice.

I wish I could have sat there next to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. What would I have said to him? What could I? Just to sit next to that man, that man who was about to willingly march into a torture inconceivable by most.

Jesus was afraid before he died, just briefly. He sat alone in the Garden of Gethsemane, with all of his closest friends, his family, unable to even stay up one night with him and pray. He was alone. He sat there in that Garden talking to his Father and said “If this cup could pass another…”

He was afraid, but he was willing. I want to weep when I think about it. Words can’t describe how awful I feel for him in that moment. We think we have unreliable people in our lives, yet there he sat waiting for his friend and student to betray him, all alone in that Garden with no one beside him, just him and his father.

And, the very next day to be dragged away, whipped and beaten, spat upon and so much more, and to watch his friends all flee and hide in caves and such waiting for the nightmare to blow over. To watch the man whom he called the rock he would build his church upon deny him, curse him, call him out on his name just as Christ knew that he would…

You can’t get mad at the Apostles though. You can’t get upset. You can’t hate on them or blame them. Not really. Because, most of us live in a country where the worst we’d have to deal with is a few people not wanting to talk to us, and yet we punk out on our faith all the time. I’m talking about myself too here.

Every time you don’t have the courage to stand up for the man who died for you just because you’re afraid of not fitting in or being shunned, we’re just as bad as Peter was. In some ways we’re just as bad as Judas. After all, aren’t we selling Christ out too, every time our actions show that we condone the actions of the world?

Something to think about, for sure.

I’m working on a novel called Fugue. It involves murder, despair, entropy, schizophrenia and triumph. I’m thinking about doing an episodic release online; five dollars an episode or something minute like that. I’m also going to be moving over to Amazon’s camp as soon as I get the time to redo my covers to fit their standards (they originally weren’t designed to have words on the front of them).

I’m also fast approaching the time to release The Blackest Rain; I just need to decide if I’m going to combine the ashcan and the first novel into one book, or still do two separate releases.

And, on my sister site www.xeawnsgamingcorner.com, I’ll be reviewing Murasaki Baby by OvoSonico at some point in the near future.

Last but not least, I’ve taken to writing my novels in journals, and then dictating them to a computer later. Carpal tunnel aside, I find it a very rewarding experience.

God bless, keep writing, and enjoy a good book. Xeawn, out.

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish (Originally on Xeawn’s Gaming Corner)

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Well Anaheim, it’s been real! Real awesome, real memorable, real…ly…great…
Anyway, the convention has come and gone and the time has come for this guy to return to his old stomping grounds!

In the days to come, look forward to myriad new updates, including video interviews with some of your favorite developers, tons of pictures, and previews of hot spankin’ new games!

In addition, please look forward to updates on upcoming Dragon House Studios novels as well.

Until then, this is Xeawn R. signing out!

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Your Argument… (also on Xeawn’s Gaming Corner)

It's Invalid.

It’s Invalid.

HI EVERYONE!!! Guess what? I’ll be back from Vegas soon. I brought you all something. What did I bring you?

Interviews with Sega, Capcom, Zombie Studios, Nintendo, WB, Mercury Steam, the creative geniuses behind the Ouya and more!

I also brought you gameplay videos of Killer Instinct, Batman: Arkham City Origins Blackgate (as well as info on that one that I don’t believe has been covered by anyone else yet), Sonic: Lost Worlds and more!

I also brought you previews of the PS4 (hands on!), Warframe on the PS4 (hands on!), Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z (hands o–okay I think you get the point), Dark Souls 2 and more!

Aaaaand if you come to my two panels at Senshi Con next month I’ll have everything from posters of games to soundtracks to postcards to collectible bags to hats to a sword (inflatable, but its from Assassin’s Creed 4, so that’s cool, right?) to GAMES GAMES GAMES!!!

So, it’ll take me about a day to recover, but expect updates, including but not limited to previews, reviews, interviews, videos and pictures, as early as Monday! And, if you can’t wait, follow me on Instagram, xeawn, to catch a ton of my cool expo happenings!!!!

Yeah…I probably should’ve mentioned the Instagram feed before I left for Vegas…

My bad.

Xeawn, out!

P.S.!!!

That Killer Is Dead meme pic? I made it myself! I’m so proud of me 😀

The “Where is Your God Now” Trope Needs to Die…

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It’s sad that this is supposed to look scary, but all I can think of is “JAZZ HANDS EVERYONE, JAZZ HANDS!!!”

You all know the scene; it’s as old as cinema itself. The big bad is coming, whether it’s an alien, a monster, a demon, or a serial killer. The writers make a point generally of having a very religious person, sometimes a heretic, sometimes a “Bible Thumper”, sometimes a genuinely nice person. Everyone is always dying around that person, and they try to run until they have no options left. Faced with impending doom, then generally kneel and hold up something religious; a cross, a Bible, a crucifix, that sort of thing. They might even kneel in fearful prayer and hopeful reverence.

Inevitably the big bad always kills them, sometimes being as corny as to blatantly state “Where is your God now?” as though the action on the screen didn’t drive that point home well enough. You know, just in case you missed it.

Sometimes the writer likes to do the fake out; have the antagonist walk away and leave that person alone, only to suddenly pop back on the screen and kill them terribly. Because bad guys are jerks. And because it’s supposed to make you go “OOOOH YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE BUT GUESS WHAT YOU’RE NOT REALLYYYYYY!!!!”

I suppose its supposed to be more scary, and perhaps it was. The first time. Not the first ten hundred.

This scene is as synonymous with horror as the “Only virgins go to Heaven” trope, that has the subtext to the plot being that if you participate in illicit acts then someone with a hockey mask will likely come give you the business end of a skewer.

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I have a problem with the “Where is your God now?” trope. It’s annoying, and can sour an otherwise enjoyable movie immediately for me. Take Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters for example. Now, I have a famous saying in my circle; never expect more from someone than you know that they’ll give you. Never expect more out of someone than you know they’ll do. I don’t mean you ought to go around looking to see what you can get out of people, quite the opposite.

What I mean is, if you know an apple tree only produces apples, don’t get pissy with it when you wanted an orange instead. Similarly, some seeds will never become trees, some trees will never bear fruit. Some seeds may only ever become flowers, and flowers are nice so long as you don’t expect them to suddenly become a fruit bearing tree. Some trees will only ever offer you shade rather than sustain you. That’s okay; shade is nice too.

So, what does this have to do with Hollywood? None of these actors or writers to my knowledge have ever publicly acknowledged a relationship with Christ to my knowledge. So–

“BUT THAT’S PRIVATE AND NO ONE’S BUSINESS THEY DON’T HAVE TO SAY THEY’RE A CHRISTIAN IF THEY DON’T WANT TO!!!”

Luke 9:26, “Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”

So…no, if you’re a Christian you do actually have a doctrinal obligation to say it loud and say it proud.

But, I digress.

I don’t expect a Biblical story from a group that I have no reason to expect that from. I don’t expect them to tell a Christian version of that movie, although with changing one simple line they could’ve.

Not a Nephilim. Heck, that's not even a Nephilim born!

Not a Nephilim. Heck, that’s not even a Nephilim born!

See, that’s the thing that makes me laugh. I look at crap like when Devil May Cry and Darksiders get something as simple as what a freaking Nephilim is wrong, which is explained literally in the first like, five to eight pages of the Bible (it’s the class of angel that mated with the daughters of man, not their offspring, and not a half angel half demon hybrid!!!) and I think to myself

A) Does anyone actually do their homework or do they go “Nephilim, I think I heard that word before…doesn’t that mean pancakes?”

and

B) Does anyone even read the Bible?

Also not a Nephilim.

Also not a Nephilim.

Because there’s an entire class of spiritual warriors in the Bible who do everything that Hansel and Gretel explained as “Good witches” and “Good magic”. They’re called the Magi, or Magus in the singular. They called down flaming meteors from the sky, caused the Earth to swallow people, manifested lightning at will, made creatures of warfare appear from will and Faith alone, they were, in a word, pretty badass.

Which is why they’re the subjects of pretty much every Dragon House Studios speculative fiction or fantasy novel in some capacity or another.

So yes, if they wanted to do Hansel and Gretel from a Christian perspective, they could’ve replaced “Good witch” with “Magus” and literally not changed a single thing about the plot, but I digress. While the “there are good witches and good magic” plot bothered me, what made me stop caring about the movie entirely and regret not watching Die Hard instead was one simple, annoying, offensive and over used trope.

“Where is your God now?”

The scene was simple enough. Some witches were abducting children for some obscure and poorly explained ill conceived plot point that involved sacrificing a certain number of kids with forgettable properties to gain the power of a white witch, see “pagan girl Gandalf”, to do…something. I honestly don’t remember what. Or why.

"BLARRRRR!!! GONNA GETCHA!!!"

“BLARRRRR!!! GONNA GETCHA!!!”

So anyways the witches were jackin’ the town up, and then one of the God fearing women in the village holds her cross and begins to pray. The witch of course brutally kills her, because tropes.

Similarly, Jack the Giant Slayer, which was a hot mess for a number of reasons, used the same overdone ham handed plot point of “GOD CAN’T SAVE YOU NOOOOOOOW!!!!” when a giant fell from what I guess is Babel or something and squished them all. Because tropes.

At this point, it’s not even done to drive home a point of fear; it’s just done to be flippant and “edgy.” As my brother would say, it’s just “pandering.”

And unfortunately it sells.

One of my friends brought up the movie last night, Hansel and Gretel. We agreed that it wasn’t great and it wasn’t bad, it just kinda was. Then I, being the only vocal Christian in the group, voiced that the “Where is your God now” scene as well as the “Evil can be good” tropes kind of ruined what little really stood out for me as great in the film, leaving an overall bad taste in my mouth. I didn’t expect much more than what happened, some uncomfortable murmuring, some uncomfortable muttering, a few of them saying they saw nothing wrong with the scenes and a few saying they liked them.

I simply bluntly stated “It’s off putting, and it’s offensive. The scene was done just to do it. I don’t expect a Christian movie from a group that doesn’t profess Christ, but I’d also appreciate it if at the very least they’d stop flipping off my Faith every chance that they get.”

That brought about a stunned silence.

"Hey, ya mind handing me Leviticus when you're done reading it? Don't wanna leave any skid marks in my armor!"

“Hey, ya mind handing me Leviticus when you’re done reading it? Don’t wanna leave any skid marks in my armor!”

“We don’t go out of our way, in our music or our cinema, to do that to others. Yet how many games are about killing God or just flat out lying about what’s in the Bible? How many movies do the same? They’re flipping off my Faith, and I’m frankly tired of it.”

I’m not going to be naive and say Christians never say anything overt or exclusive. However, I have just as much right to stand on my doctrine as anyone else does theirs, and as a Christian I’m honestly tired of it. There’s a myriad of games and movies I might otherwise enjoy were it not for their obsession with flipping off God. Madworld, for example, odd as it might be to hear this from me, is a game I thoroughly enjoyed. The dark, edgy plot, the moody atmosphere, the hopeless struggle of the protagonist trying to make peace with the loss of his loved ones, it was very well written. I was excited for Anarchy Reigns, or whatever they call it in America, and I loved Vanquish as it was based on one of my favorite anime ever (Casshern). However, the same developer makes Bayonetta, a series founded solely on using the Bible like so much cheap toilet paper.

I won’t support Hideki Kamiya or Platinum Studios, and threw out my Madworld and Vanquish as a result. You can easily have a hardcore action heroine that flies in the face of normal conventions without vomiting all over the Bible. Heck, I did it with Rosalia Valentine in The Blackest Rain. And Tea in Ego Clausus: Malevolence. And Aori June in Chosen of the Lord: Soul’s Reckoning.

You can have a supernatural and powerful male without resorting to “Demons and junk”. I did it with Terryn Heart in Academia. I did it was Kaze Sio in Malevolence. I did it with Alexander Rogue in The Witch and The Magi. It’s more than easy enough to do.

You don’t have to do it. It’d be nice, but, the lack thereof is what spurred me on to become a writer. However, at the very least, at the very least…

Can you at least stop flipping off my Faith at every opportunity?

Writing a Good Angsty Protagonist (Also featured on Xeawn’s Gaming Corner)

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What makes a good protagonist? Quite a lot of things, countless things really, but one central core needs to be development and growth. If your characters are static the entire story, they become dreadfully boring and quite a chore to continue to desire to spend time with. While there is obviously a fan base for characters that are nothing more than their archetypes, or else are nothing more than their trope or power, I don’t feel as though that makes for very deep writing.

I’m not going to jump on the twenty something bandwagon that thinks its trendy to hate on Dragon Ball Z, but I will say that there’s a reason why the thrill I get out of seeing Goku is pure nostalgia, while I’ll take an adventure with Luffy over the Z-Team most any day.

I joke often that my friend introducing me to One Piece pretty much ruined most other anime for me. The reason is that everyone in One Piece continually grows. They have certain things you can expect out of them, Zorro is almost always moody, Luffy is always a lovable idiot, Nami will always be a gold digger, and so on, but there’s depth. Sometimes its in large ways, such as Usopp allowing himself to get beat near to death for the sake of his friends, and other times its in the quiet moments. Nothing grabbed me more than one particular scene in Nami’s backstory arc, an arc I didn’t particularly enjoy to be honest, save for that one moment, that one painful moment. You know the one.

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Luffy looks around at the bloodstains in Nami’s old room and he understands what child Nami had to endure. As the villain brings his mighty blade towards Luffy, he reaches out and stops it with two fingers. Similar to earlier in the arc when a sobbing Nami drops to her hands and knees and begs Luffy to help her, one thing I love about his character is that he doesn’t necessarily need to know the details, all he cares about is whether or not someone hurt his family.

I tried getting into Fairy Tail, and before I was ultimately pushed away by their “SATAN SOUL!!!” obsession, I found it to be a less deeply written One Piece. Every battle was resolved by Natsu magically having a new move, story arcs were rushed through, and the stakes never felt real because Natsu was never really using his full strength most of the time. There were brief moments, like when a crying Happy had to leave Natsu alone against an enemy he couldn’t quite figure out how to beat, but for the most part you always know the overpowered protagonists will never struggle.

Similarly, even though Toriko is a joy to watch, both the series and the character, somewhere between fifteen and twenty episodes in I stopped caring and never picked up the show again. Every fight is resolved by Toriko being all like “Oh by the way I’m one of the heavenly saints AND HERE’S ANOTHER NEW MOVE HA HA YOU DIDN’T REALLY LAY A SCRATCH ON ME TO BEGIN WITH!!!”

Yeah, though the characters are fun, I lost interest shortly after Terry Cloth joined up.

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Dear Lord…when did Cloud become prettier than Tifa…

Which brings me to Cloud Strife versus Sol-Badguy. When I was a kid, I was such a Cloud Strife fan. He was just so freaking cool, with his spiky blonde hair that as a somewhat self loathing black kid I knew I’d never have, his amazing buster sword that he could flourish effortlessly, and his dark, brooding presence. He was so dang cool.

Cloud never let anything shake him, and he met every challenge head on. I thought he was just the coolest thing on the planet. Later, when I got into FF8 I found Squall was such a great character, I thought he was so cool! He never let anyone get too close, he had a freaking sword with a gun inside of it, his scar looked B.A., and I found his thoughts synced up with a lot of mine at the time.

When I got older I picked up Skies of Arcadia and was so freaking refreshed. I had just finished beating Grandia 2 from cover to cover, which I absolutely loved right up until the moment when they were suddenly like “Oh, by the by God is a pansy, Satan killed him, he kinda came back but we don’t need God anyways. Also Ryudo is shacking up with both Millenia and Elena, switching off whenever he gets the urge to wander. Everyone is okay with this.”

I was like “…….Wha?!”

Skies of Arcadia was so refreshing. Vyse was comical, he was fun, he was exuberant and upbeat. I realized that being around those angsty bags of hormones was just no fun anymore. I’d stopped being an angst ridden teenager by the age of sixteen or so. I didn’t care about characters like Cloud anymore; they were such massive downers. Even when everything was okay, for them it wasn’t okay.

skies of arcadia fegan vyse aika fina art

So, who is my favorite Guilty Gear character? Sol-Badguy, hands down! What makes him different from Cloud?

I was thinking about that this morning. Sol is pretty angry a lot of the time. He’s kinda moody, but he’s not what I’d call dour. Sol to me has pretty good reasons to be pissy. He was a part of a holy order that he realized was just a farce to let the rich get richer, he was subjected to terribly painful experiments, he had to kill his own daughter, he lost his beloved to darkness, his memory is spotty, and he might someday have to kill his grand daughter, or vice versa.

The difference? Sol changed, evolved, grew, and is more than his archetype.

Cloud lost a loved one, which he blames himself for, and he kinda sucked as a soldier. Also he got experimented on. That’s his excuse for being a whiny brat, trying to steal his best friend’s girlfriend, being even more of a whiny brat, and being a horribly derelict father and borderline abusive boyfriend.

In the original Guilty Gear, a game I think most series fans didn’t really get to play, Sol seemed to have absolutely no remorse about killing his daughter at the end of his story. Part of that, we learned later on, is because when he removes his headband (which is something he had to do to access his full power in order to beat Justice) he goes frigging berserk. The headband functions as a limiter that keeps his psychotic personality, a side effect of the experiments, in check.

I couldn't find a picture of Sol with his hair down, so here's Alucard. Picture this, but with crazy eyes and more screaming.

I couldn’t find a picture of Sol with his hair down, so here’s Alucard. Picture this, but with crazy eyes and more screaming.

Just real quick, Sol with his hair down was bloody amazing and I’m pretty sure Hellsing stole that design, or vice versa.

In later games Sol has expressed a modicum of regret about killing Justice, though he views it as his responsibility to destroy all gears. The reason why he carries this weight, is that they’re all spawned from his blueprint. The clearest way that we can see his regret however is that canonically, after he beat Dizzy in their duel, who was exceedingly reluctant to fight him anyways, he chose to spare her life. He let live the one gear that was directly “birthed” from his daughter, and seemed very thankful in his own special way that Dizzy was in control of herself.

Again in his own way, Sol tends to be protective of Dizzy. Speaking of Sol’s special brand of empathy, we know that he and I-No had some manner of relationship before she decided to go all Sith on his butt. She’s one of the few people he hesitates against, expressing a desire not to fight her. Similarly, Sol is one of the few people I-No will defy her orders for.

The biggest difference between Sol and Cloud, aside from the fact that Sol actually has depth, is that he experiences a wide range of emotions. Sol is nowhere near as laid back as Ragna the Bloodedge, but he’s a fun guy. He laughs, he jokes, he goes out of his way to be nice to certain people, and he’s managed to turn his anger into something that can portray everything from “I’m worried about you” to “I’m glad you’re doing okay.”

"It's not like I like you anything! Jeez!"

“It’s not like I like you anything! Jeez!”

Sol, by the by, has got to be the only person who can turn “Yeesh, what a pain in the ***” into “I ‘m glad you’re doing okay.”

So what do you think? Agree? Disagree? What angry heroes are you into? Do you need depth in your stories or do you prefer just nonstop action? You know what to do!

Xeawn, out!

A gentleman always wears a tie.

When I was a child, coming up I always saw my father dressed impeccably. Now, we were not rich by any measure, not destitute either, but not rich at all. However, my father ever since my earliest memory was always a very well dressed man. Growing up I have memories of my father being up late to press his suits, something I never quite got the thrill of myself, yet something that always gave him a sense of pride and joy. He would never go to work with a wrinkled suit on, and he would always wear a tie.

When I was a kid, my father was into bow ties. When I got older, say fifteen or sixteen he consistently wore the regular kind. My father, a comic book geek that got me into most of my nerdery, got a particular joy not out of receiving as a gift the latest Dark Knight or Daredevil (though he enjoyed those too), rather became a collector of ties. He always got one on his birthday and on Christmas regardless of whatever else he may have wanted, though we of course made sure to express our appreciation with more than fancy fabric for your neck.

Now, for myself I gravitated towards scarves. I’m not entirely sure why scarves, though I think Blues, a.k.a. Proto Man, had quite a lot to do with it. I collected scarves, most of which I no longer have because I gave so many away to friends and strangers as a child and early teenager. However there was one thing I always knew for an unequivocal fact:

A gentleman always wears a tie.

My nephew watches my father and I like a hawk, his mind like a sponge as he absorbs everything that it means to be a man from our behavior. At times it frightens me how much he wants to be like me; I am well aware of my faults and shortcomings, as well as the painful road I had to walk to get to the me that I am today. I do not wish for him to endure any of what I have, nor do I want to be placed up on a pedestal of any kind. Yet and still, I do not shy away from my responsibilities like so many men of today; I endeavor to be the uncle and Man of God that will set the bar for him to meet and to exceed as he grows up.

My nephew has often asked my father why he wears a tie. My father always explains to him that a gentleman must wear a tie. He reminds my nephew that when we go out into the world, people are constantly judging us based upon our appearance. He explains to my nephew that we are intelligent black males who endeavor to carry ourselves in a professional, respectful, and through God a powerful way. He reminds my nephew that there are many in life who will find that threatening, yet we must endeavor not to fit inside of the box, the pre-disposed mold and ancient caricature that both society and our own race perpetuates as the norm rather than the exception.

And above all else, a gentleman always wears a tie.

Watching various older cinema classics with my nephew, he has asked me the same question. When watching Humphrey Bogart, Cab Calloway, Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin and Buster Keaton on stage, my nephew asks me the question,

“Uncle, why do men wear ties? Why do they all look so fancy? They look nice, but why?”

Seven years old, full of wisdom and curiosity.

“Nephew,” I begin, “in that era, men were men, and women were women.”

He’ll usually give a quizzical look and exclaim

“What the what?!”

And so I endeavor to impart wisdom and explain.

“Nephew,” I continue, “men were men, and women were women. Back in that era, back in the day, men always dressed impeccably nicely. Regardless of their social status, men endeavored to do far more than shuffle about with their jeans around their ankles. A man’s shirt, his tie, his slacks, his fedora, they were his signature. When you looked at a sharply dressed man with his tie fixed just right, you knew that you were looking at someone who took pride in their appearance, and themselves. Men were gentlemen; they were polite, spoke with a modicum of intelligence, and treated women with respect.

“And women were women. Women always dressed nicely, with a nice dress or skirt, and respected their bodies, at least in public. Women spoke with an air of nobility, and carried themselves in a manner that said ‘I am to be pursued, not to pursue’. Women did not go out of their way to make life harder on the gentlemen, good women, and men, good men, did not go out of their way to demoralize the woman. Not everyone followed the gentlemen’s code and the lady’s code to a T, but the good ones, well, they did their best.”

Now by no means am I calling for a counter cultural revolution that will see urban clothing done away with or women occupying space only in the kitchen, by no means at all. However, I am saying that there is a reason why men wear ties, and women wear dresses and skirts.

I find that I can be quite attracted to a woman in jeans, flats and a t-shirt, but there’s just something about a girl who knows how to slip into something a bit more fancy that will always turn my head. I find that if the best you can do is flounce about in tops cut so low and skirts split so high that you may as well be nude, well, you’re not even close to being on my radar. There’s a time and a place for that, and every opportunity you get when you go out is neither. Just as, men, there is a time and a place for your favorite pair of Levi Blues or Enyce Cargoes, with your Bob Marley t-shirt or Adventure Time sleeveless (speaking about myself with that last one, Finn and Jake forever!), however there is always an unexpected opportunity to prove that “old world fashion” will get you much farther in life than your credibility with your homies will.

Do I sound like an old curmudgeon railing and caterwauling on about the misguided direction of the youth of today? How old do you think that I am? Thirty? Forty? Fifty even? I get that quite often.

Twenty five. I am twenty five years old. Just turned as of a month and some change ago.

I used to wear a tie every now and again, or for interviews and exceedingly special occasions. I’m older now, and ever since high school have held positions in pawn shops, law firms, child care, church organization, and IT. I’ve begun wearing a tie every day to work, even though I’m not required to. I am harkening back to the teachings of days long past, ideals that I have held since I was a child, and I am leading my young nephew by example.

Why? The answer is very simple.

Because, a gentleman always wears a tie.

Would You Still Love Me If I…

Love is a wonderful thing. I find myself writing about it often, even though that’s never my intention. There’s generally almost always a romantic plot or subplot to my writing, and even if we aren’t talking the “Let’s get married!” sort of love, the big L is still a large part of what I write.

I’m a romantic. I got it from my smarmy parents I guess. What’s more, God is love, and Christ is the center of my life and my first true love, and so since Love is our great commission from Him it stands to reason I can’t help writing about it quite often.

I enjoy writing love stories, and I feel compelled to because of the ridiculous concept of “love” that worldly media paints. Drama and gossip is exciting, and we want to feel justified when we act how we shouldn’t. Wouldn’t it be a lovely thing if someone told you that everything you ever did in your life was the right thing to do?

We have so many books and movies that tell you it’s okay to be caught between two lovers, yoyo-ing back and forth between them as it tickles your fancy. They tell you its okay to leave someone at the drop of a hat for someone else, and they reinforce the idea that the moment someone you claim to love is injured, damaged, difficult or not quite the same as when you started that you’re justified in up and leaving.

Let me just be blunt and state that doesn’t make you driven, focused, flirtatious or any of the above. It makes you a coward, plain and simple.

kujqhyalmsnvbig

Still, there are some stories that use this plot device and do so in a fascinating manner. One of my favorite movies in all of its various re-imaginings is Appleseed (despite Briareos suddenly not being an ethnic other any longer…). Most recently, as of a few years back, they did a movie titled Appleseed: Ex Machina. I believe it was the first movie I rushed out to get on blu-ray. The rebooted story follows Deunan Knute and hubby Briareos on a mission to stop a rogue AI from wiping out the planet as we know it. Briareos was mortally wounded in the line of duty some years prior, and his body was all but destroyed. Much of it was replaced with cybernetic enhancements, leaving him with only his arms intact. Little did they know that the force they worked for had cloned Briareos for reasons implied to relate to his amazing prowess in battle.

The top brass decide that the clone, Tereus, will accompany Deunan and Briareos as they attempt to stop the Halcon virus, and despite her best efforts Deunan can’t help but feel herself pulled between the two of them. Being a clone of Briareos from before his World War III injuries, he has the face and voice of the man she loved for many years, and of course the vast majority of his mannerisms and traits as well. While his own man, his clone origins leave Tereus deeply attracted to Deunan and his orders make him almost eager to see Briareos fall to the virus and go berserk.

Watching Deunan’s struggles was a painful and intriguing experience; the story was realistic and well written. The resolution was exceedingly well done as well.

Love is a trigger word for my wallet; if you’re not writing a meritless story about some girl bouncing between all the guys she likes, rather a true love story you’ll likely get my money. I loved the “How Far Would You Go for the One You Love?” tag of Shadow of the Colossus, and likely would’ve given it a shot even without the amazing gameplay and concept that came with it. What I’ve played of Xenoblade and Pandora’s Tower was great as well.

lone-wolf

I also love stories that demonstrate the love and devotion of family, such as Nier Gestalt and Lone Wolf and Cub.

I feel like love is a great emotion to convey in a story; it resonates with everyone. We all either have love or want love, and can all either give love or take love in some capacity or another. We can be in love, we can be loved, we can reject love, we can desire love, and the big L has caused great nations to rise and fall across time immemorial. Love is one of the most powerful emotions in our arsenal, both in life and in the pen. Love and Fear are two of my favorite swords to cut my literary path with; they’re emotions that reach us on a very primal level and often times go hand in hand.

Love and Fear, Fear and Love, they go together like the sun and the moon. When you have love, perhaps you fear losing it. When you don’t, perhaps you fear gaining it, or never finding it again. Perhaps you were cut deeply by love, and so experience fear. Perhaps you reject fear, and desire love. Intertwined, they oft become two halves of the same whole.

My upcoming dual release of The Blackest Rain: Sorrow and The Blackest Rain Book 1: The Sovereign explore those halves in a very raw and real manner. On the outset we’ve got the story of the devil slayer Rosalia Valentine reeling from the death of her uncle who raised her setting off on a mission to save the children of a small protestant village from a demonic Count. Beneath that we have her fighting to recover from the betrayal of her boyfriend/fiance of four years, a night walker called Vincent, and the return of the first man to break her heart, a German devil slayer by the name of Graham Himmel.

Rose is caught between the pain of her uncle’s death, the betrayal of Vincent, the return of Graham, and the anniversary of the day her mother abandoned her at age six. Somehow she has to hold on to her faith in God while struggling against all of these conflicts thrown in her face one after the other. And now, Graham wrestles with being content to be by Rose’s side during this time of great conflict and turmoil, and his irresistible urge to try and rekindle the flames he’d smothered so many years ago.

“Would you still love me…if I broke your heart?”

In More Than a Fairytale Book 1: Xea’s Story, we see the destruction of the relationship of trust and confidence between protagonist Xea and older sister Leah, as well as the loss of faith between parent and child therein. As Xea is suddenly caught up in an otherworldly conflict, having to battle against the forces of the dark empress known only as The Mistress, the question between parent and child becomes

“Would you still love me…if this was all my fault?”

and between siblings becomes

“Would you still love me…if I failed to protect you?”

Love is a beautiful, wonderful, terrible, powerful weapon/tool/emotion/state of being. Please do wield responsibly.

More Than a Fairytale Book 1: Xea’s Story has been temporarily taken down as we move to a new publisher, and will be available once again mid May.

The Blackest Rain: Sorrow and The Blackest Rain Book 1: The Sovereign will both be available for purchase following the June 7th First Friday launch event at Dessert First in Anchorage, Alaska. We’ll be taking pre-orders the week prior.

-Eugene W.

“Xeawn”

@DragonHouseAK

http://www.dragonhousestudios.org

http://www.xeawnsgamingcorner.com